How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
I figured working in my office on the 34th floor I'd be safe railing xanax off my desk. Of course, I snort it just in time for the window washer guy to give me a thumbs up.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
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