Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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