bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
Randomize