god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
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