And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
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I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
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By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
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