went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
