what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
