apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
