I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
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Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Dude \nSo embarrassed \nJust sent a snap to my boss john and noticed my vibrator was right beside me
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
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