we're chasing vodka with high fives
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
The ass gains better be worth it
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