He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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