We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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