She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Randomize
