So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone