Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background? http://tfl.nu/ijcb
  Replies (63) Good night (2673) Bad night (3448)
• Favorite

  (443): View more from Maryland

  There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (443): There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers. http://tfl.nu/zfa6
  Replies (24) Good night (1216) Bad night (2868)
• Favorite

  (662): View more from Mississippi

  you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (662): you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again http://tfl.nu/srv7
  Replies (21) Good night (6437) Bad night (690)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (515): I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror http://tfl.nu/xej5
  Replies (17) Good night (5104) Bad night (1179)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (530): I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me http://tfl.nu/rrqt
  Replies (23) Good night (6618) Bad night (1124)
• Favorite

  (818): View more from California

  he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (818): he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror http://tfl.nu/1dr8
  Replies (14) Good night (6155) Bad night (1650)
• Favorite

  (802): View more from Vermont

  Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (802): Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle. http://tfl.nu/jhbj
  Replies (7) Good night (2990) Bad night (1494)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (206): it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster http://tfl.nu/ujaf
  Replies (15) Good night (3378) Bad night (1094)
• Favorite

  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (423): I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant. http://tfl.nu/k43z
  Replies (9) Good night (765) Bad night (2000)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (573): Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI. http://tfl.nu/6uwa
  Replies (12) Good night (1610) Bad night (744)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it http://tfl.nu/yi0x
  Replies (7) Good night (1205) Bad night (662)
• Favorite

  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (215): it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target. http://tfl.nu/jyhf
  Replies (2) Good night (1041) Bad night (427)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her. http://tfl.nu/8e8b
  Replies (6) Good night (518) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (904): View more from Florida

  My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (904): My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there. http://tfl.nu/hpvl
  Replies (0) Good night (364) Bad night (241)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (314): I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done. http://tfl.nu/w2o8
  Replies (0) Good night (791) Bad night (206)

Randomize