Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
So after we got done with our cardiac arrest patient, I thought how awesome would it be to hook up the defibrillator pads to cook a burrito.
dude... how have they not drug tested you yet?
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
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If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
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I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
COCAINE IS GR8
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.