I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
She even gives head with a lisp.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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