Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(616): View more from Michigan

STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?

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(616): STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW? http://tfl.nu/6356

Replies (3) Good night (1077) Bad night (560)
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(480): View more from Arizona

A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card.

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(480): A few issues tonight. 1) Drunk since 1pm. 2) At the bar at 4pm. 3) James brought his sister, who has enormous breasts, isnt shy about cleavage, obviously slutty, and makes me want to do things that would even have Atheists sending me to hell. However, she's wearing glitter, so all Im thinking about is Edward Cullen. Go ahead and rip up my Man Card. http://tfl.nu/fah6

Replies (47) Good night (5105) Bad night (983)
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(239): View more from Florida

I wish I could drop acid with the muppets

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(239): I wish I could drop acid with the muppets http://tfl.nu/kqkl

Replies (33) Good night (4737) Bad night (675)
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(901): View more from Tennessee

All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.

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(901): All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name. http://tfl.nu/tyab

Replies (29) Good night (5430) Bad night (766)
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(908): View more from New Jersey

Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.

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(908): Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life. http://tfl.nu/04rm

Replies (63) Good night (1124) Bad night (5278)
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(519): View more from Ontario

i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own

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(519): i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own http://tfl.nu/ot8v

Replies (27) Good night (8624) Bad night (1135)
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(913): View more from Kansas

You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .

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(913): You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" . http://tfl.nu/nj3u

Replies (1) Good night (2016) Bad night (1122)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.

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(732): i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up. http://tfl.nu/3kb7

Replies (21) Good night (4392) Bad night (1169)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.

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(859): No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks. http://tfl.nu/8h7o

Replies (9) Good night (2131) Bad night (889)
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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.

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(814): Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright. http://tfl.nu/kb3m

Replies (11) Good night (2402) Bad night (687)
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(530): View more from California

You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours

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(530): You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours http://tfl.nu/u33l

Replies (11) Good night (2135) Bad night (659)
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(678): View more from Georgia

You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'

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(678): You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow' http://tfl.nu/uw7w

Replies (12) Good night (3182) Bad night (689)
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(417): View more from Missouri

He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.

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(417): He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex. http://tfl.nu/n0fj

Replies (1) Good night (275) Bad night (623)
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(971): View more from Oregon

Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account

(971): View more from Oregon

It could happen to you too!

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(971): Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account (971): It could happen to you too! http://tfl.nu/bwgy

Replies (11) Good night (1675) Bad night (283)
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(903): View more from Texas

Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??

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(903): Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate?? http://tfl.nu/wozc

Replies (6) Good night (662) Bad night (260)

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