Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.

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(248): I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose. http://tfl.nu/ckrs

Replies (12) Good night (1311) Bad night (739)
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(563): View more from Iowa

you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?

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(563): you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship? http://tfl.nu/nsqw

Replies (37) Good night (9544) Bad night (1234)
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(318): View more from Louisiana

I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me

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(318): I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me http://tfl.nu/y794

Replies (39) Good night (935) Bad night (4653)
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(305): View more from Florida

I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.

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(305): I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him. http://tfl.nu/ngz7

Replies (19) Good night (917) Bad night (4587)
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(617): View more from Massachusetts

how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?

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(617): how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night? http://tfl.nu/7t3i

Replies (15) Good night (1196) Bad night (5475)
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(503): View more from Oregon

I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..

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(503): I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation.. http://tfl.nu/9q0x

Replies (18) Good night (1854) Bad night (763)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity

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(250): I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity http://tfl.nu/6n2x

Replies (2) Good night (1054) Bad night (647)
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(507): View more from Minnesota

Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.

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(507): Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization. http://tfl.nu/k6sn

Replies (5) Good night (1594) Bad night (596)
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(612): View more from Minnesota

I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house

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(612): I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house http://tfl.nu/z7wf

Replies (5) Good night (1772) Bad night (516)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.

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(307): You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home. http://tfl.nu/j8m0

Replies (10) Good night (537) Bad night (1870)
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(404): View more from Georgia

Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.

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(404): Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician. http://tfl.nu/u2ls

Replies (4) Good night (960) Bad night (453)
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(250): View more from British Columbia

anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.

(1-250): View more from British Columbia

ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?

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(250): anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you. (1-250): ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine? http://tfl.nu/1018

Replies (2) Good night (517) Bad night (711)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car

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(201): I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car http://tfl.nu/h2al

Replies (11) Good night (588) Bad night (416)
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(954): View more from Florida

I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class

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(954): I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class http://tfl.nu/ks3b

Replies (3) Good night (1288) Bad night (337)
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(913): View more from Kansas

Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.

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(913): Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito. http://tfl.nu/fh2t

Replies (5) Good night (677) Bad night (326)

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