Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.

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  (203): The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar. http://tfl.nu/eecr
  Replies (12) Good night (1303) Bad night (811)
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  (805): View more from California

  Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"

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  (805): Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore" http://tfl.nu/y23i
  Replies (2) Good night (1507) Bad night (1006)
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  (647): View more from Ontario

  Get out of your relationship and into my pants.

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  (647): Get out of your relationship and into my pants. http://tfl.nu/sn5l
  Replies (45) Good night (23622) Bad night (1526)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up

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  (828): You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up http://tfl.nu/y0oy
  Replies (27) Good night (6057) Bad night (908)
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  (925): View more from California

  I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??

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  (925): I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing?? http://tfl.nu/da8e
  Replies (14) Good night (3808) Bad night (979)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?

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  (+61): i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason? http://tfl.nu/33o5
  Replies (7) Good night (2926) Bad night (1143)
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  (772): View more from Florida

  He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...

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  (772): He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off... http://tfl.nu/s4wu
  Replies (3) Good night (1664) Bad night (1237)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...

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  (623): He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking... http://tfl.nu/bdfz
  Replies (5) Good night (2906) Bad night (910)
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  (251): View more from Alabama

  He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember

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  (251): He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember http://tfl.nu/p8oz
  Replies (2) Good night (1672) Bad night (853)
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  (979): View more from Texas

  Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.

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  (979): Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine. http://tfl.nu/p1v5
  Replies (3) Good night (1844) Bad night (727)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.

  (1-941): View more from Florida

  Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.

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  (941): It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere. (1-941): Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine. http://tfl.nu/u4qq
  Replies (13) Good night (3409) Bad night (895)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?

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  (678): When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was? http://tfl.nu/rsyp
  Replies (3) Good night (1960) Bad night (711)
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  (315): View more from New York

  In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me

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  (315): In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me http://tfl.nu/ug28
  Replies (7) Good night (1144) Bad night (455)
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  (289): View more from Ontario

  my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.

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  (289): my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk. http://tfl.nu/ahcl
  Replies (1) Good night (416) Bad night (864)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.

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  (586): friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere. http://tfl.nu/3hha
  Replies (0) Good night (674) Bad night (134)

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