Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.