I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.