Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex

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  (317): I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex http://tfl.nu/t943
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care

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  (201): he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care http://tfl.nu/es4g
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  (209): View more from California

  Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.

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  (209): Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future. http://tfl.nu/yuzg
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  (985): View more from Louisiana

  The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH

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  (985): The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH http://tfl.nu/8euf
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.

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  (434): NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup. http://tfl.nu/qouj
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  (716): View more from New York

  found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college

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  (716): found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college http://tfl.nu/aqwa
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.

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  (419): More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill. http://tfl.nu/mtxw
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  (954): View more from Florida

  She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.

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  (954): She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating. http://tfl.nu/jmu1
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  (740): View more from Ohio

  I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"

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  (740): I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots" http://tfl.nu/pkth
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  (518): View more from New York

  Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.

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  (518): Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat. http://tfl.nu/lwgj
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.

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  (978): Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me. (978): Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex. http://tfl.nu/urbj
  Replies (2) Good night (1755) Bad night (481)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  started my period, we have to try again next week

  (1-770): View more from Georgia

  if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint

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  (770): started my period, we have to try again next week (1-770): if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint http://tfl.nu/4qkj
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something

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  (601): She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something http://tfl.nu/xegg
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless

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  (860): The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless http://tfl.nu/aa5s
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  (530): View more from California

  Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.

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  (530): Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs. http://tfl.nu/m09k
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