at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
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I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again