Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.