Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up