i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Randomize
