Texts From Last Night

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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll

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  (336): Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll http://tfl.nu/6m63
  Replies (27) Good night (5770) Bad night (1389)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  Milquetoast, coolest word ever.

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  (215): Milquetoast, coolest word ever. http://tfl.nu/m1o9
  Replies (23) Good night (2267) Bad night (617)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall

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  (201): why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall http://tfl.nu/krc7
  Replies (43) Good night (11732) Bad night (849)
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  (318): View more from Louisiana

  Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.

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  (318): Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions. http://tfl.nu/wfb6
  Replies (15) Good night (3593) Bad night (790)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.

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  (651): Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love. http://tfl.nu/7dfa
  Replies (15) Good night (6643) Bad night (1158)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.

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  (850): She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out. http://tfl.nu/i2ji
  Replies (18) Good night (8492) Bad night (1252)
• Favorite

  (561): View more from Florida

  oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything

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  (561): oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything http://tfl.nu/egks
  Replies (10) Good night (3653) Bad night (1407)
• Favorite

  (845): View more from New York

  I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting

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  (845): I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting http://tfl.nu/p4gt
  Replies (14) Good night (6622) Bad night (1162)
• Favorite

  (361): View more from Texas

  I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.

  (1-361): View more from Texas

  Ew! He's just a child!

  (361): View more from Texas

  AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.

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  (361): I'm okay with corrupting his young mind. (1-361): Ew! He's just a child! (361): AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE. http://tfl.nu/exs0
  Replies (46) Good night (4089) Bad night (2086)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.

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  (505): I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub. http://tfl.nu/yxnr
  Replies (6) Good night (1915) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.

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  (304): He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away. http://tfl.nu/477o
  Replies (2) Good night (1284) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (916): View more from California

  I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.

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  (916): I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it. http://tfl.nu/y2di
  Replies (1) Good night (524) Bad night (962)
• Favorite

  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor

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  (717): I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor http://tfl.nu/quon
  Replies (9) Good night (1136) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!

  (1-404): View more from Georgia

  Be safe. And I hate you.

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  (404): Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND! (1-404): Be safe. And I hate you. http://tfl.nu/32xo
  Replies (3) Good night (1239) Bad night (355)
• Favorite

  (574): View more from Indiana

  I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??

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  (574): I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat?? http://tfl.nu/1o4f
  Replies (9) Good night (1287) Bad night (361)

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