I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
Mom just Facebook checked into an Applebees at 2am. Caption: ''WITH THE BESTIEZ.''
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Randomize
