At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
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