My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
Randomize