I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
