But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
my phone needs a breathalizer
how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Randomize
