turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
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Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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