your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
The air was thick with penises
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
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