Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!

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(202): View more from Washington, DC

I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.

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(816): View more from Missouri

you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too

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(248): View more from Michigan

You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.

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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Read it at the TFLN blog
(519): View more from Ontario

Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?

(289): View more from Ontario

You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.

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(928): View more from Arizona

I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.

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(904): View more from Florida

The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.

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(323): View more from California

She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.

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