I swear she didn't look like that last week.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
