You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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