Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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