Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
