chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
Randomize
