The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
