i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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