I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
