So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Randomize
