Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
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