she looked like the bat from fern gully.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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