I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
