actually, I'm a sock model
Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
