So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
me + whiskey = a bad person
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
