And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
