just tell him i said nine months
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
