i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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