I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Randomize
