I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
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Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
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