just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
