I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I just gift wrapped bread.
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize