I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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