I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
