Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
Great parenting moment: noticing your kid is going to puke from gorging fish sticks and sending her outside. Then watching her puke on your dog.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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