it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
