that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
