yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
P.S. I can't hear my feet
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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