did you get engaged???
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Barsexuality is the new black.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
