Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
is it fun? or sober?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
