areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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