there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
