And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
