Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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