just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
