I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
