I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I'm too high and old for this...
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
Randomize
